Neverending Chase
by Peach-Fanta
Summary: A short Yuuta POV taking place during the St. Rudolph's Arc. Fujicesty hints


The Neverending Chase 

A short Yuuta POV taking place sometime after Syuusuke and Yuuta's little chat towards the end of episode 33 and before the beginning of episode 34.   
Warnings: Hints of Fujicest (Big surprise there!)

My earliest memory is chasing after him.

He was always too fast for me to catch, except those odd occasions when he would let me win. But those were hollow victories for me...because he was still the one deciding, still the one in control. 

I've always been in his shadow, ignored except as a pale and failed representation of him. Even the family seems perpetually disappointed in me. Born barely a year after the perfect son, it's really not all that surprising that no one had time for me.

Well, no one but him. He always was there, watching over me and defending me.

People don't understand my feelings towards him...not even Mizuki-san, who thinks he knows everything about me. In reality, he's as misguided as everyone else. They think I hate him just because I don't want to be labeled as his younger brother. I don't think it's a lot to ask to have my own identity, to have people say and be referring just to me sometimes. 

And because they think I hate him, they insult him - my brother - in front of me, not realizing he is the most important person in my life.

Even so, I am also a bit jealous of him, jealous of how easy everything comes to him and of all the affection and admiration lavished on him. Wherever he goes, people whisper, "There goes Fuji, the prodigy." I am not a prodigy, so once again I find myself running after him, and not making any headway. 

I actually started taking tennis lessons before him. He had been taking flute lessons and astounding the sensei with his virtuoso playing. I had been trying to learn the clarinet, but my kindergarten-sized hands had been unable to hit all the keys and so my parents had started me on tennis hoping to find something I would excel at. And at first, I did shine. While not considered a prodigy, I took to tennis in a way I hadn't been able to with the clarinet, art or Go. When I held my racket, I felt confident and I showed talent far beyond my 5 years. I was particularly pleased when even the family began to notice my efforts on the court. 

I had been taking lessons for 6 months when my brother first picked up a racket. I was chosen to show the class my serve technique and it was just coincidence that this made me his first opponent. I'm sure his intentions weren't to hurt me, he smiled at me as he easily returned my serve with what would later become known as his Tsubame Gaeshi,*swallow return*. His innate ability stunned the class. At first he refused to play again, perhaps in some sort of deference to me, but when the Elementary School Division Tennis Tournament took place a month later, he, too, registered. 

I still remember what it felt like when he defeated me in the only official game we've ever played against each other. When he came to shake my hand after the match, I hit it away and screamed at him that I wouldn't give up, and ran away crying. My family was terribly embarrassed that I had made such a spectacle, and Aniki, he abandoned the tournament, a tournament he probably would have won, to come chasing after me.

He found me at a nearby park, one we had gone to a few times together, sitting on a swing crying uncontrollably. Once again he had eclipsed me, and this time it hurt more than all the other times.. I don't really recall what he said to me, I only remember pumping myself higher and higher on the swing, thinking that if I could just go high enough I would finally be victorious. 

Somehow, the reason is still vague to me, I lost my grip, and tumbled off the swing. My only memory of that flight is seeing my brother's horrified face for an instant, before I opened my eyes dazed and bleeding in his arms. 

His tears were leaving tracks down his cheeks, mirroring the ones on my own. He told me then, as I lay stunned, that he would stop playing tennis. For a moment my heart sped up, if Aniki stopped playing tennis I would then have something I could call my own, something where I could triumph. 

But...but, once again he'd be letting me win, and how could I ask him not to play? It was clear, my brother was gifted at tennis and to ask him to make this sacrifice would be wrong...because I love my brother. I haltingly moved my bloodied hand down the damp trails on his cheek. No, I told him as I tried to smile, I was going to surpass him one day at tennis. I closed my eyes as the numbness that had shielded me from my injuries began to fade. I nearly opened them when I felt him tenderly press his lips onto mine. Even now, years later, I still dream about that tentative kiss, my first kiss, and wonder what it meant. I'm not sure how long he embraced me, kissing me, before an ambulance arrived and we were both bustled off, with him never leaving my side. I needed 14 stitches and I still have the scar as well as his kiss to remind of that day.

Aniki, I will prove to you how strong I've become by beating this first year on your team. I will step out from behind you as I have yearned for years and will be seen as a separate person, Fuji Yuuta, and not just your younger brother. 

And when I've succeeded, there will be no more chasing, but instead we will finally walk next to each other.  



End file.
